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Doing things that scare us

For many people, fear is a constant companion. Not completely paralyzing fear, just the low-level anxiety that everyone will judge you for your actions or that you’ll fail. It’s an emotion that’s there to protect us from real danger, but which has been over-activated by our environment. Sometimes this is just an inconvenience but at other times it can completely prevent us from doing things that we really want to do.

It is likely that to some degree everyone experiences this feeling, even if we don’t always admit it or even recognize it in ourselves. It’s the little voice in the back of our heads that says, “I could never do that”.

In many ways, Buddhist practice is about confronting those little voices in our head, seeing what they need, and inviting them in for tea. Can we do that for these hidden fears? Even though it’s scary? Payton brought this topic to the Sangha this Sunday accompanied by a recorded talk from Andrea Fella.

You can listen to Andrea’s talk here: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/10958

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The basics, ever fresh and renewing

Returning to the most basic instructions – awareness of the body, feelings, heart-mind and dhammas reveals how these instructions feel differently under different conditions. and open different insights.

Darryl guided our reflections, drawing from a talk by Dawn Scott and a guided meditation from Yahel Avigur. Both presentations examine reactivity, body awareness and ways of noticing and responding to reactivity.

Dawn’s talk is here: https://dharmaseed.org/talks/83495/

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Sane Practice for Crazy Times

Given the environment we now find ourselves in, more extreme than ever, it can become difficult to maintain our path and practice.  How do we best work with whatever dysregulation we are experiencing?  How can we be there for others who are going through their stress?

Jackie guided our reflections, drawing on a talk by James Baraz and a guided meditation by Jack Kornfield to frame our sangha conversation.

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The Absorption Process

Absorption in a concentrated state may be a goal as we sit on the meditation cushion.  But it can in some degree be achieved, and utilized, in everyday life as well.  And the calm steadiness it offers can stabilize our lives and our thoughts, as can spending time in nature.  

As Ajahn Sucitto points out, this cultivated calm, rather than being a prime goal to achieve, may be most useful when it is framed in a mindfulness practice.  Don guided our reflections on absorption this Sunday.

You can listen to the talk here: https://dharmaseed.org/talks/63611/

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What is Time, Really?

What is time? With our phones and watches, we live in a world that often feels constrained by time. But different cultures and traditions experience time differently.  In the Tibetan tradition, Kala, the god of time, represents change as a force that consumes all things—and eventually itself.         

Here, today, we often feel there’s not enough time, rushing to be more efficient, or worrying about the future while replaying the past. In this way, time can become entangled with wanting, clinging, and aversion.

Yet when we bring careful attention to the present, time can also feel almost weightless—expansive, effortless, like floating on water. 

Important questions: What is our attitude toward time? How does our relation with time connect to our perceptions of self, our suffering and impermanence? Is there another way to relate to time that invites more freedom?   Sonia guided the group in exploring these questions this week.

Here are the links to the 2 talks she played for the theme:

Gil Fronsdal: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/17026

Nikki Mirghafori and Sayadaw Jagara: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/7632

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Five dimensions of every experience we live

As we move through our lives, our experiences may seem widely various, or tediously repetitious – but at root they are all composed of the five dimensions – Kandhas (Pali) Skandhas (Sanskrit), Aggregates (Bad English Translation), Bundles, heaps, etc. In the end nothing lies outside the field of Form, or Attraction, Dislike or Neutrality of Feeling, Perception, Mental Formations (the biggest box of all), and Dharmas (which offer explanations for everything).  Since this 5 card game is the only game in town, careful attention to how they work can bring considerable insight into the shifting or repeating shapes of our lives.        

John guided our reflections this Sunday, drawing on the insights of dharma teacher Donald Rothberg. and looking with curiosity and insight into the textures of all our experiences . . . every one.

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Not Knowing is Most Intimate

As the old koan goes… “Not Knowing is Most Intimate.”  A few months ago, Eric shared this talk from Matthew Brensilver on knowing and not knowing.  This Sunday, he brought a few reminders from that talk (Knowing and Not Knowing are not opposite ends of a spectrum… Not Knowing is not ignorance, but an “unwillingness to cover over the mystery with self-serving certainties”) in order to set up this talk from Brian Lesage on intimacy.  We discussed the relationship the old monk in the story was pointing at…. how is it that “not knowing is most intimate?”  And how can that free the heart and mind?

From Joanna Macy, “World as Lover, World as Self” : “the practice of vipassana, or insight meditation, represents a short-circuiting of the codes and constructs we impose upon reality… Rather that eliminating noise to extract message, the meditator switches off the message in order to attend to the noise.”

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Media Overwhelm: how to meet it

Why do we habitually reach for our cell phones during any pause in the action in our lives?  How does the habit of consuming news and social media entrain our heart/mind (Chitta)? 

Buddhism’s insight into the origins of human cravings and into specific practices which cultivate freedom can be applied directly to this social habit.

Lorilee guided us with a talk by Chas DiCapua of the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center to sharpen our awareness and learn to more consciously choose how to use our devices, rather than be used by them.

You can listen to the talk here: https://dharmaseed.org/talks/95426

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Cara Lai on Emptiness

This week we had the distinct privilege of hosting Dharma Teacher Cara Lai to give her reflections on the topic of Emptiness.

This talk explored emptiness as the heart of the Buddha’s teaching and a direct path to freedom. Rather than something bleak or nihilistic, emptiness is revealed through the three marks of existence—impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and not-self—as the living truth that nothing is fixed, solid, or separate.

When we look closely, the fleeting nature of experience makes life more precious, not less; the things we crave never fully satisfy because they are unstable; and even our deepest suffering is not personal but part of the shared human condition.

Through meditation, illness, love, and even motherhood, emptiness becomes something intimate and liberating: a release from rigid identity and a falling into connection with everything. Far from draining life of meaning, emptiness opens us to awe, tenderness, and fierce presence.

In this way, emptiness is not a void but a fullness beyond clinging—an experience that feels less like nothingness and more like love.

Poem: The Way It Is by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer: https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2015/06/rosemerry-wahtola-trommer-way-it-is.html

If you wish, you may express your gratitude through the Dana page on Cara’s website: https://www.caralai.org/give.html

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Emptiness as Expectation

In Buddhist philosophy when we say things are “empty”, we mean they are empty of independent existence. All things are conditioned; they are products of thousands of separate conditions and only exist because those conditions have come together at that moment in time.

Our slice of toast depends on the baker, the miller, the truckers, the farmers, the grain, the sun and rain, etc. Remove any one of those, and this one slice of toast at this moment cannot exist.

The illusion of independent existence creates a sense of expectation. But that expectation is dependent on conditions and is empty of real separate truth.

This is easy to say but deep down most of us disbelieve it very strongly. How can my food go bad? How can my body not work like it did? How can my partner seem different than they were? These all feel like betrayals. They are! They are betrayals of our expectations. And so we suffer.

Is it possible to live in a way by which we won’t feel these betrayals?

Payton guided our discussion this week. Here’s his notes:

Empty apple

When we see an apple and we think, “I like apples!”, we have a concept in our heads of what an apple tastes like. But then, if we take a bite and we don’t like the taste, we are momentarily confused. How can this be? We like apples. Is this not an apple?

We are forced to invent a new concept to explain it. This is a bad apple, which is like an apple but does not taste good. Then we give the apple to our dog and the dog happily eats it, enjoying every bite. How can this be? It was a bad apple and that means it doesn’t taste good, and I know my dog doesn’t like things that don’t taste good (I’ve seen them spit out medicine and raw broccoli before) so why did the dog enjoy this?

We must invent a new concept again. The dog likes rotten food. But what if the dog doesn’t eat a particular rotten food? We have to refine our concepts yet again.

All of these concepts and investigations can be useful, but it would be much simpler if we just didn’t assume that the thing we bit into was an “apple”, or that “apples are a thing we like”. Instead, we could have had the same experience of biting into an apple, encountered an unpleasant taste, and put it down. No more investigation required.

When the dog smells food, they may try to eat it. If it tastes bad, they spit it out and go on with their day, unperturbed. We, on the other hand, may get frustrated. We want to find out why a bad apple was allowed to be served to us. We want to find a more pleasant tasting apple because we now are craving that taste. We long after something or get angry at something. This is suffering created by the illusion of a separate, sustainable thing called “an apple” which is a thing we like to eat.

If we were eating a mystery food with our eyes closed, the problem would not exist. Good taste, bad taste, we wouldn’t have or build an expectation.

We build and use these expectations constantly with objects, but also with people, with ourselves, and with our own emotions. We think we know how something is, and when it is not how we expect, suffering happens.

Of course we need to have expectations and they can healthily guide our life, but at the same time we need to avoid getting trapped by them when they inevitably prove to be false.

The apple is empty of “apple”-ness. It’s a mystery, really. As are all things, really.

The idea of an apple or the idea that we like apples are like soap bubbles; they seem real and solid but then, suddenly, they vanish.

Disappointment

Payton also played an excerpt from a talk by Kate Munding on the topic of Disappointment, which you can listen to here: https://dharmaseed.org/talks/85877/